Wait… what?
by Don Polsy
I was skimming through Tenmagnet, a blog I admittedly never read, when I ran across his September 30 post containing the following video of some “pick up artists” from PUA summit trying to pick-up one of the TV hosts while being judged by the other three hosts. Holy. Shit.
These guys are awful. I’m going to critique each one of them, actually, and break down their style, where they got it from, and where they veered off into failure.
Enjoy!
First off, the host starts with this, “Can you believe that?” statement about the “thousands of men from all over the world” who showed up to learn how to get good with women. So she thinks, and correctly so, that any guy who would pay money (and I hear these things cost thousands) to learn how to get good with women must be a chump; but moreover, she is setting the stage for failure with the PUAs she’s going to feature on her show. Lets continue, but with this in mind: The frame set is one of failure, and none of these PUAs even try to change it.
Johnny Wolf (00:28)
Ho-Lee Shitballs. What the hell is he doing? He is extremely nervous. Like, bathe-in-his-palm-sweat nervous. Immediately he forgets to use the microphone and instead of bringing it up to his mouth without breaking his sentence, he stops, grabs the mic and then starts over. This is where things go from bad to worse. He starts off with a compliment, which never works, and follows this with a compliance test and an attempt at a neg, which just ends up coming off as creepy – even the host pics up on the creepy and acknowledges it with “peering through the bushes again, Johnny?” He’s clearly from the old school pick-up guys, as is evident by his stupid smile. Guys: deep six the smile. You’ll also notice, the moment he gets her to stand up he starts using the mic as a unconscious barrier which sends off beta signals, telegraphing that you’re both nervous and a huge pussy. Another thing going against him is his name: Johnny. He’s not a boy, and should be going by a man’s name, like John. James (who we meet next) isn’t running around calling himself “Jimmy”. This man was introduced as the summit organizer. He’s the boss. Wow, really?
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James Marshall (01:27)
Walks in with a confident, slow stride. The man is dressed well and has a deep voice that is complimented by a slight (It sounds like) Australian accent. Simple opener, he doesn’t try to dive right into a lame routine (unlike “Johnny Eager” up there). Unlike most of the guys in this video, you can tell James has gotten laid more than 4 times in his life and has more experience than just reading a copy of Mystery Method – unlike most of the others. Has an attempt to make light of an awkward moment, but screws it up when he tries to dive into a routine. A very confusing routine. One that involves a very poorly done cold read. He is then insulted for being married when really that would play to his advantage, not against. He confesses boldly to being married, going so far as to say, ‘very married.’ In real life, a married PUA would use his ring as a prop to trigger pre-selection instincts in a woman. It can be a great tool to use if you couple it with some sob story about how she’s cheating on you, etc etc. Hell! Sometimes I put on the fake wedding ring and use it as a prop! He realizes this is a crock and just kind of walks off – dignity retention props.
Vince Kelvin (02:22)
Lets just go ahead and break this guy down. First off, he looks like a chipmunk. Seriously, take a gander at his mouth. And where is he from with that accent? The next thing I notice about him is that he literally looks like the cheesy Target Off Brand version of Mystery. He wears “cool” and flamboyant clothes that were clearly designed for someone a good 15 years younger than he is. His routine is also pretty stock, jumping in with a quick question and the interruption to throw the girl off. He makes some pretty solid use of body rocking and false time constraints, but the speed at which he’s talking and attempting to push through his routine makes him come off less like “the greatest pick up coach in the world” and more like a pushy used car salesman. He tries to kino by grabbing her hands, but it does more to put her off guard and make her defensive than it does to get her used to the idea of him touching her. Side Note: I’m going to have to write a post on kinesthetic escalation for you guys….
Carey (03:04)
Carey immediately enters with such confidence and alpha frame that the “judges box” – complete with the male equivalent of a feminist cunt - is forced to shut it and watch his pick up. Carey is by far the lesser of the evils, and the best of a very bad situation. His routine is the only one thats salvageable, and the only one to recognize the situation for what it is: A setup designed to make them fail. Immediately Carey jumps into what appears to be a pretty awesome kokology, making immediate and consistent use of her name (a tip old school pua’s tell you because it shows her that you’re interested enough to remember her name, or something). Its only at the end of his thirty seconds that we see that it wasn’t, in fact, a fun Kokology, but instead it was mutual date planning and she has unwittingly agreed to see him. Mad props.
Speer (03:49)
Oh my god. This guy. If Will Friedle were a sex offender, he would be this guy. He walks in and assumes a spot on the table, which is good, but then proceeds to use the lamest, most beta herb opening line that I’ve ever seen from anyone in my life. Its so bad that he literally gets laughed off the stage 13 seconds into his approach – a blow out – which would probably happen in real life if he tried using that craptastic line at a bar. Remember guys, the most valuable canned opener in the world is, “Hey.”
What I would have done
Apocalypse Opener. Plain and simple. You don’t have time to run the fancy routines, and the girl is planning on shutting you down anyway, so just go for it.
Also, guys, if you want a lesson in pick-up, don’t spend thousands of dollars on these stupid seminars. Instead, email me (alphapersona@yahoo.com) and I’ll give you my city/state. You furnish $180 for a round trip plane ticket, and $15 for a weeks worth of drinking (I’ll show you how that works) and we’ll spend a solid week together, going out every night, sarging, and getting laid. If, at the end of the week, you feel like donating some gas money to me or something, go for it. If I really thought people should be charged for this, I wouldn’t be putting it out there on a blog for free.
A pick up seminar would cost you ten times that much money for two or three days of supposed “gurus” reading chapters of Mystery Method to you while you continue to get not laid.
