Finding love online is a billion dollar industry. A study done by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that online dating is responsible for more than one third of marriages in the United States. This represents a huge shift in how people are meeting their future spouses. Online dating is no longer a stigma but a norm for meeting single people. Despite these numbers, about a third of online users have never actually gone on a date with someone they met online.

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If you haven’t found the right person you are not alone, but you could also be making these critical mistakes that prevent you from finding love via online dating:

1. Continually Searching For The Best Dating Site That Meets Your Preferences

In the topic of Online Dating at Quora one of out ten questions is some variation of what is the best dating site for [gender in country with specific character trait]?

The beauty of online dating is the unlimited number of options of people to choose from. The drawback is that when you are not getting the results you want you may be tempted to give up early. You point out that there are the wrong kinds of people on this website and proceed to try out another site.

“Plentyoffish is a hookup site.”

“Singles on Craigslist are desperate.”

“Okcupid is for people not looking for relationships.”

Instead what you should be doing is polishing up your profile to attract relationship quality singles. Most people post a profile that is the same as the next one. You can’t all be “low-maintenance but put together, fun and exciting, yet love to chill and can get along with pretty much anyone.”

Put thought into how you are describing yourself because in a sea of other singles that is the only way to be unique and what is unique stands out and draws attention.

Every dating website has someone special who is looking to fall in love with someone like you. People who find love online are the ones who persevere, stay positive, and remain committed to the process. They are not looking for the perfect website but making most of the website they are on by putting up a magnetic profile.

2. Posting Pictures From Your Phone or Webcam

The learning curve for online dating is pretty low. Anyone can learn how to put up a decent profile and start messaging other people. But what really stands out on a quality profile are the pictures.

When scrolling through profiles the headline picture is the first thing you notice. We take a fraction of a second to judge a person’s face, their smile, and their body to decide if we find them attractive enough to go out with them.

If you intend to find love online you need to take your dating profile pictures seriously. They represent your first impression in the dating world. Quality pictures attract much more attention and increase the odds that someone of relationship quality will contact you.

Profiles with small blurred images, cropped photos, or unflattering angles will be passed over. People will just assume you aren’t good looking and won’t contact you. Remove those pictures and get a friend or a photographer to take pictures of you. They will capture you in better lighting at the most flattering angles which increase your attractiveness leading to more messages.

When you post high quality recent photos of yourself the ideal number of photos is three: a headshot, a full body picture, and one where you are dressed up.

This gives people an idea of who you are and the dynamics of your personality. If you are looking for a serious relationship, always present good quality, recent photos. This shows that you care about yourself and want to show the best of who you are.

3. Meeting In Person Without Screening First

A plus side of online dating is that there is no shortage of singles who are eager to meet you. The downside is you can go on a lot of bad dates before you find someone you are compatible with. Getting to that first date can happen fast online, but only when you meet in person can you evaluate your interest in the other person and the true relationship potential.

Many people decide on coffee dates to save time and energy. This is the quickest way to screen people in-person because people will know in 5-10 minutes if date number two is a possibility.  There is no benefit in a dinner date if you have to make polite small talk till the end of dinner after knowing they’re wrong for you based on your first impression.

Real enjoyment in dating depends on properly screening one another before meeting in person. Bypassing this step leads to a stack of crappy first dates which leads to dating burnout!

It is important to screen people not only to evaluate compatibility but to gain the benefit of going out on one great date a week instead of a handful of terrible coffee dates. When you screen someone you figure out whether they are worthy of your time before meeting them.

Get to know one another over the course of several messages, leading to emails, and eventually a couple of phone conversations. This way you can get a pretty good gauge if this person is a good match for you and has relationship potential.

Finding love doesn’t happen overnight, and the long-term benefit of screening up front is that you’re more likely stick with online dating long enough to meet the right person.

4. Giving Up Too Soon

The rising popularity of dating apps and websites can lead to online dating frustration and hopelessness. You find that you have to commit quite a bit of time and effort to the search. Most people do not write back or if they do they misrepresent themselves while you get to know them.

One important thing to take away from online dating is that you should not take rejections personally. The most attractive people online get the majority of the messages so don’t be surprised if you put a lot of thought into a message only to find that you do not get a response.

In his book Dataclysm, OKCupid founder Christian Rudder states that the most attractive women on Caigslist receive almost five times more messages than a woman who is considered least attractive by viewers. For men, it’s about 11 times more messages.

It’s easy to get disheartened by online dating but we need to remember that we joined online dating because we were not meeting enough singles in our everyday lives. A few get lucky in finding love but for many of us it takes effort and work.

If finding love was quick and easy then everyone would be in love. Matchmakers and dating coaches would be out of business!

Everyone wants to find love and we like to imagine that the universe will make it happen naturally but in reality to find love we have to be proactive.

Those who find fulfilling, loving relationships are the ones who never give up hope that someone is out there for them, and never stop working to make it happen.