Converting For Love
by Don Polsy
All’s fair in love and religion. Could you convert to a certain religion if your love is adamant that they want to marry someone who shares the same belief system? Everyone is brought up with a certain belief system, so could you change everything you know to be with the one you love? In my case I was brought up Methodist, my father’s side had Jewish ties and my Mom’s side was strictly Methodist. Growing up I never went to church unless it was Easter and even though I hadn’t grown up in the church I had read the bible by the time I was 13. I started realizing I wasn’t Methodist when I was 13 years old. I studied other religions to make sure I was choosing the right religion for me and me alone. I converted to Judaism when I was 22 years old. And as I got older the more I realized I would want to marry someone who was Jewish as well.
It makes it simpler if I were to have kids with someone that we believed in the same things. Growing up I knew I didn’t belong to the Methodist church since I didn’t believe in the same things. And I felt bad that after growing up a certain way I would be abolishing all of those thoughts and practices. Not to mention what it would do to my family who for the most part practice Christian beliefs. Of course my Dad would always say he was the Jew boy. So imagine growing up in a very confused household when it came to religion. I knew if I had children I would have them grow up Jewish, but if they wanted to change their stance when they were older I would be happy to support them.
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Converting For Love
When it comes to relationships and religion where does one cross the line? I have been around people who have converted for their new beau or girl. My ex converted to Muslim for his wife and then as soon as they divorced he didn’t practice Muslim beliefs anymore. I also have seen friends of mine who started dating someone and then two weeks later she started the process of converting to Judaism. Which I honestly never understood? Especially when they had just met and all of a sudden she is wanting to be Jewish? Because her boyfriend was? So if you can change your mind that quickly on religion then as quick as you decided to change your own belief, is as quick as you can find a new love.
Conversion is OK if you truly feel drawn to that religion and you would still practice if your relationship ended.
I believe it is ok to convert for a relationship, but there has to be guidelines set. Such as if you were engaged and you understood the religion as much as you understood your own growing up. I think if people started converting religions when they have just met someone it will leave the person converting very confused if the relationship ended. Religion is not something you should take lightly. It needs to be researched and know that if your relationship ends you will be associated with that religion you converted too. You can not just go back to how it was before the conversion started. You would have to convert back to your original religion if that is what you chose to do. But, if you honestly can say that if you were not with this person you would not even consider changing your religious stance then I would say you shouldn’t convert at all.
I know a lot of relationships have worked beautifully after someone converted and they are happy as can be. But, you have to look out for yourself first. And I fully believe that if you can change what you have grown up believing for someone then you can easily change your mind once that love is no longer there. And religion should not be taken lightly. It is not ok to not know who you are. And the people who can change so easily for their loves are people who truly don’t know who they are and what they want. I love the fact that I am confident on who I am and what I believe and I would want my partner to be the same way. But if you truly love someone and they want you to convert, please take the time and effort to research what you are converting too. And make sure you can live with your choice with or without your partner.
