Writing the “About Me” Section of Your Match.com Profile
by Don Polsy
There are few prospects more daunting than summing yourself up in a few hundred words on an online dating profile. Look around at enough women’s profiles, and you’re sure to see something to the effect of “it’s so hard to write about myself” time and time again. Some won’t even bother trying and will settle for a couple short sentences. Many who do write a profile end up with one rife with clichés A beautiful woman can certainly get away with this, and writing about yourself is difficult, but unfortunately guys, you can’t take the same route.
This is one of the reasons you shouldn’t write the “About me” section of your Match.com profile about you. You should write it about your dream woman – in the second person.
“Huh?” you say? Here’s why: 1) Everyone loves to hear about themselves, 2) if you write positively about the date you are looking for, women are likely to see themselves fitting into that description, and 3) by telling them about themselves, they are less likely to view your profile negatively, and more likely to view your profile positively. So, it will be more effective in getting winks when you do The “Who’s Viewed Me Shuffle,” and in getting a response to your message when you send a one-line hook.
Chances are, you don’t want to date someone just like you, but by telling them about themselves, you are telling them things about yourself. If you say “you like a man who takes control of the situation” you’re describing both yourself and your date, even if your date isn’t someone who likes to take control of the situation themselves. But, if you say “you enjoy hitting the links for a round of golf on a Saturday afternoon,” you’re of course suggesting that you both like to golf.
Be flattering about this stuff. It will be hard for a woman to argue with your profile if it opens up with “you’re smart, sexy, and you love to laugh.”
Here are some guidelines to remember when writing a profile for your dream woman to see:
- Be positively positive. I’m going to be a bit of a hypocrite by saying never, or at least almost never, use the phrases (remember, you’re writing in the second person here) “you hate it when…” “you never…” “you’re not…” etc.. If you have exclusionary things to say, try your damndest to say them positively. Nobody wants a woman that cheats, but saying “you never cheat on your man…” will naturally conjure up negative feelings by the reader – your dream woman. This is your dream woman: of course she won’t cheat on you, so why would you even mention that possibility? Instead – if you must mention this issue – say something to the effect of “you’re a loyal and reliable partner….” Who could argue with that?
- Be funny. Look at 99% of women’s profiles on Match, and you are sure to see some form of the phrase “I love to laugh.” And that means: women love to laugh! And why not? When they laugh, they are physiologically responding to you, and you need her to have a physiological response to you if you expect your dream woman to be attracted enough to you to initiate contact. Since the only tools you have right now to create that physiological response are a couple of pictures and some words – unless you are damn hot stuff – you better make her laugh. What if you’re not funny? Impossible. Everyone is funny. At least try, even if you use horribly cheesy puns, then joke about said cheesiness, that’s a start. Remember that words are one of your only tools, and plain text can be dry, so you have to get silly, or else you’ll come off as a stiff. I’d recommend throwing in some emoticons (no frowns). They might seem really gay, but they help lighten up a dry medium :)
- Call for action. Ever wonder why all of the web banner ads say “click here?” Because it works. One of the first “rules” of marketing is to ALWAYS use a call-to-action. Picture this: your dream woman just finished reading your profile. She thinks you’re interesting, funny, and attractive. Now what? Well, it’s not as simple as it sounds. Of course you want her to click on that “wink” button, or even better, send you a message, but people can be shy, and besides that, she’s probably looked at tons of profiles. I suggest that you end the “about me” section with a simple “give me a wink!” or “click on that wink button, what do you have to lose?” Why just winking? Because it’s the very easiest thing that your dream woman can do to show you that she’s interested. If you send a message to a random woman you are interested in – even in one-line hook form – the chances of you getting a response are very low. If you message a woman who has winked at you, you will get a response unless you have poor messaging skills. Believe me, if she’s up for sending you a message, she’ll send you a message, but right now, all you want is to find out that she is interested, so you can start messaging with a woman who has approached you.
This of course isn’t the only way to write your online dating profile, but it’s an effective method that can help your profile stand out. The “About Me” is the first thing your dream woman will read on your profile, and if you follow these guidelines, you’ll have much better chances of capturing her interest, and getting her to initiate contact.