How to not to please a Loveawake customer!
by Don Polsy
I know that some couples do not need or want simple shows of affection or even consider them affection at all. But in my world, those small actions do count a lot.
Gary has been ordering for me for a long time in restaurants. It started with my not being able to relax and trust he would do what was best for me. In my need for control, he recognized it was because I wanted to feel safe, and the only way I could get that security was to do things for myself. Well he went about changing that. What he did was say if I wasn't able to allow myself to be taken care of, he would move it to the next level. If I couldn't let him order my meal, then he would cut the food up and feed it to me! Such lessons I learned back then.
I never had to experience that, but I did learn that he always asked me what I wanted, and how I wanted it – and then the restaurant found out and he insisted I got what I wanted and how I wanted it as well. And I learned to trust him to take care of me.
Now, when the choices are too many – he laughs as we eat out a lot – I tell him my choices 1, 2, and 3 and please decide for me. Any of them would be fine. And if I am not having a craving, he chooses where we go to eat out. But he also does open all doors, holds my hands at all times, puts on my coats, puts me in and out of the car, and my safety is secure always. As well as getting kisses, hugs and sweet touches all the time. And I am a vacuum for it all. And yes it does cause a more submissive trend to look for him to make my choices, with my input on favourites.
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Last week on vacation he took me to this ritzy steakhouse. It was great and I was starving. Our server took way too long to get to us and he called the manager to complain. When the server finally showed up, she was in a big snit. She didn't like anyone complaining about her. So in her effort to ‘show him’, when the time came for us to order, she asked me first.
When I looked at Gary, as he does the ordering, she told me, “Don't bother with him! In fact, he should be asking you for permission on what to have.” So I gave her a long look that said “You are sooo wrong, so very wrong!” and smiled.
She got it. She apologized in her own way and we got along. But there was no way I was going to let a waitress show him lack of respect. Especially since I'm not even allowed to do that! LOL! But when Gary comes into a room looking for me, and all I have to do is submit to his love, in all the forms it takes. It makes for a much stronger connection. Trusting he knows me so well to do things for me, it allows me the freedom to change my mind so he can pick up the pieces. Submission comes with its own brand of rewards sometimes.
A gentlemanly thing to do
I always smile when I read your posts about how Gary cares for you so. I just wanted to remind folks that treating a woman in such a manner is not only "taken in hand" it also a gentlemanly thing to do.
My hubby and I have 3 small children so although I am always expected to wait for him to open doors for me or pull out my chair at dinner ... right now, we have too many mouths to order for, too many little ones to buckle in etc ...but when we are alone on a date night my hubby treats me very much the same ... he always has ... long long before we introduced the concept of our marriage.
My 8 yr old son, holds doors for the fairer sex of any age. He does it because he is taught that it is the proper thing to do. His daddy would teach him these things regardless of the dynamics of our relationship. My husband grew up without the benefit of the mother in the house - raised by his father and 3 older brothers and he still knows how to treat a lady.
I hope anyone reading this, even those that might disagree with this way of life, will understand that the gestures of opening doors, ordering, holding a coat etc. don't have to have anything to do with equality, or lack thereof, in a relationship (and as in mine and Blush's relationship our husbands are the HOH and that is great for us and makes us happiest).
I have seen women get irritated with a man for opening doors etc. and its such a shame because it isn't that the man thinks she can't open the door herself, he knows she can. It is that he thinks she shouldn't have to bother herself with it! It is a sign of respect and adoration for the wonderous opposite sex.